Saturday 30th April

Yesterday was very tiring. When I got home and tried to relax I get twitchy legs – something I always get when I am tired. Alison rubbed my legs for me and I started to dose off and I ended up in bed about 8.30pm as I always do these days.

This worries Alison. To her, my inability to stay awake past 8-8.30pm is a sign of me growing weaker. However I see it as my body conserving energy to fight the cancer.

During the night I was up 4 times to piss (as usual) but I struggled to settle each time I went back to bed. My legs and feet were sore and I’ve been getting pains all around my body. I assume it’s the chemo that has done this to me and it’s not the cancer I am feeling.

As I walk Alison round the road to get her lift to work she notices that I am limping slightly and I have to reassure her that it’s just a sign of the chemo. She had read that combined chemo and hormone therapy made many men better but somehow hadn’t realised that this was probably after the chemo had finished. I remind her that classically chemo is a bit rough on the body and that many of those men who it helped had to get worse before they got better.

I have a few errands to do but I resolve to find some time in Costa with my laptop researching some of the information I had previously found but in more detail. I’ve been curious about polyamines and their role in cancer treatment. As always, the science gets me buzzed up and I feel excited – almost too excited – about how useful this information is. I go home and put a chart highlighting which foods to eat and restrict for reduced polyamine intake. Cross-referring it with a chart on apigenins I see that apples, grapes and celery are show up as cancer fighting stars, being both high in apigenins but low in polyamines.

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